'If we did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.' Thomas Edison









08 November 2010

Highs and Lows


My goodness, what a hectic up and down few days we've had. The above is my Dad's cake for his birthday. As he doesn't really do birthdays, and he won't ever take us up on a meal invitation I decided we would take the meal to him and he wasn't allowed to make excuses :o). I think he actually enjoyed it too.

Next up was my mother-in-law's birthday so I made her a mini pamper hamper. A couple of bars of soap, some massage oil made from jojoba oil, sweet almond oil and patchouli and orange essential oils (her favourite), a jar of olive leaf and clay face mask, and a tea cup candle, all placed in a fabric tub.

Inbetween all the birthdays I had to pack for the Green parent weekend meet-up in the forest of dean. Above are the two orders I was taking with me and below is something I had to leave at home ;o).

I had such a lovely time over the weekend. I met some amazing people - some of which were exactly as I imagined and some not ;o). It's funny how, when reading blogs or through the things we say on the forum, we have an image of how that person is. Meeting them for the first time felt very odd indeed because we know so much about them already, but then there is so much we don't know about them as well. For me, it was a fabulous experience, and one I would definitely do again. For my eldest it was a completely different matter, and one I didn't fully appreciate until I'd gone to bed last night when it hit me and I felt awful for being such a useless mum. He was the eldest there (by quite alot), so had no-one to play with. When he brought out his puppet (which I suggested he take), it was immediately turned into a monster by the younger children (which is perfectly understandable but not usually how Aaron plays with it). Then Aaron was turned into the monster and pushed, shoved and shouted at for most of the weekend. So he was rather grumpy for most of the time :o(. He is such a sensitive boy, why I didn't see it from his side I don't know. Maybe I was just enjoying myself too much?! Why I didn't defend his mood when told "I'm glad that big boy is going home" I don't know. Maybe I didn't want to offend the other parents?! Why I wasn't more patient when he was clearly struggling with the disruption to the travel arrangements on the way home I don't know. I do know that I need to look at some of my parenting skills (or lack of). The whole thing brought me to tears last night (and while typing) so the first thing I'm going to do is apologise to him when he gets up. And sorry everyone else for this ramble but I needed to get it off my chest.

11 comments:

Claire said...

It was lovely to meet you and your two boys. I'm so sorry he had a rough time. It's easy to think that they can handle themselves, being older,I know I can expect a bit too much from Luke at times.

It's a shame we had to go so soon, it never really gave Luke and your son time to get to know each other. Hope he is feeling better about it soon.

Thank you for the soaps, they are perfect.

Hope to see you all at the next one.

Joxy said...

**smile*** and on the other side, I often sat in the common room watching you and your son interact and thinking what a beautiful relationship you have, and hoping when Rye is that age, that we have a similarly close relationship.

((((hugs))))

Dawn said...

(((hugs))) - I'm sure your parenting is just fine, you were all in a "new" situation amongst people you hadn't met in real life. Sometimes things are hard when that happens, all you can do is reflect and know you would be able to handle things differently next time.
Give him a big hug, some one-to-one time with Mama and say sorry if you feel you need to, all will be fine.

Glad you had a good time otherwise though.

xxx

sue said...

hi shell, its nice to hear you had a good time over the weekend. glad your dad enjoyed his birthday treat too.. and lucky lucky mother in law :o)

you know, from what i've just read here i'd say your parenting skills are spot on..and appologising to your wee man will, i'm sure, make a world of difference for him, lovely mama.

xx

Pippa said...

Aw, I think you're being too hard on yourself. Tell him how great he was at the home ed meetup and how proud you were of him. It's really, really hard sometimes in big groups, so many new people, so many differing feelings and expectations and if you're like me, if you're the only one with a 'large' child, you feel the pressure for them to be 100% perfect. I've done the same with mine, been in the company of somebody with a small child and expected my older ones to share, play and take all kinds of rubbish and when the person has gone, I've reconsidered and wondered about how one-sided the whole thing was. Don't beat yourself up, have a laugh about it with him.

Your pamper hampers look great by the way, that would defitely cheer me up on my birthday!

xxxxx

Scented Sweetpeas said...

Lovely pamper kit - what a fab idea.

Sorry to hear you are feeling bad about things, I think as Mum's we always look at how we react to our children and are harsh on ourselves. x

Becks said...

I think these kind of events have us on unnatural comparative behaviour anyway Shell. Most of the children were younger ones so of course your boy would find it hard to fit in. And you have built up an expectation and belief (right or wrong) about all these families which are based only on what they want you to see or know. It's often so different in real life. I'm sure people expect me to be who or how I am when they first meet me ;-)
Your blog makes me think you are a wonderful inspiring mama who cares so much about her family, her environment, other people....give yourself a big hug and remember how wonderful you are. I'm sure your boy thinks so too.
xx

Jacqui said...

Oh hugs darling - it is hard when you are so much older than the others and of course, hindsight is an amazing thing. i am sure everyone will have gone home reflecting on some aspect of their parenting, and you are certainly learning new things too. I love your birthday surprises. xxx

Anonymous said...

Shell- I was very aware that poor Aaron got pushed around a lot by some of the younger ones-including one of mine. We did have a talk about it- and I did tell him that some of it was down right out of order. I think that Aaron was very tolerant and I hope that he enjoyed some aspects of the weekend

Amanda said...

And I don't know why that came through as anonymous.....

Amanda said...

And I really hope that the 'big boy going home' comment wasn't from mine??